Scott (aged 8): Mizz Lemming, I have to do a report for school, and my mother says you know all about American History. Can you help me?
Lemming: Sure, no problem. (Utters silent prayer that this question not be about battles of the Pacific during WW II)
Scott: Well, I need to know about Paul Revere.
Lemming (much relieved): Well, midnight ride, courier to Congress, etc. etc. and fathered twenty children.
Scott's Mother: Hmmm. Explains why he had to take a second job.
Words Written: five hundred and six
Lessons Graded: going to need more coffee