prophecy?

Thus inspired by iTunes, I will join in this meme I swiped from Harriet. Think Magic 8 Ball, except with iTunes set on random shuffle.

1. What do you think of me, oh mystical iTunes?

"You are a creature of ordered chaos, whose minimalism is strangely artistic"
(“The Grid” – Philip Glass)

2. Will I have a happy life?

“Not unless you get the dissertation done right away.”
(“Losing My Mind” – Liza Minnelli and the Pet Shop Boys)

Eerily true – better move on to the next question.

3. What do my friends really think of me?

"You need a shave.”
(“The Moustache” –Samuel Ramey)

4. What does my S.O. think of me?

“You need a vacation, far from here, preferably someplace with the possibility of rioting in the streets.”
(“Normandy” – Once Upon A Mattress)

5. Do people secretly lust after me?

“Don’t count on it.”
(“What a Fool Believes” – The Doobie Brothers)

6. How can I make myself happy?

“Learn Latin. Or maybe take up the trumpet.”
(“Opening Titles” – The Lion in Winter)

(The words to the opening theme of this film are in Latin.)

7. What should I do with my life?

“Massacre urban wildlife.”
(“Poisoning Pigeons in the Park” – Tom Lehrer)

Like Harriet, it would appear that I have chosen the wrong academic path.

8. Why must life be so full of pain?
“Corporate America has pilfered all that is good and glorious and used it to over-market consumer goods.”
(“Hoe-Down” –Aaron Copeland)

9. How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?

“Steroids.”
(“Take Me Out to the Ballgame” – Dr. John)

10. Can you give me some advice?

“Invest in very large-scale real estate.”
(“Gosford Park” – Christopher Northam)

11. What do you think happiness is?

“Talking for a living.”
(“Come Talk to Me” –Peter Gabriel)

No kidding! Just let me get my notes and we’ll start the class discussion…

12. Do you have any advice to give over the next few hours/days?

“Early morning Mid-July
Anticipation’s making me high”
(“Summerfling” kd lang)

This advice on the day of Indianapolis’ first snowfall? Thanks.

13. Will I die happy?

“Yes, but at a cost – you will be surrounded by hordes of children, all of whom have the same name.”
(“Gavotte in G” – J.S. Bach)

Then again, if that means my work endures for centuries and inspires a brilliant satirist, it would be awfully nice for my ego! (I need a shave, indeed.)

Bonus #14: if the next song is about what's going to happen, what is it?

“Aliens will arrive and take over the music scene.”
(“Purple People Eater” –Judy Garland)

Quite frankly, I think this would probably be an improvement.