Friday, April 11, 2008

advice to tech support

The phrase "oh yeah, this happens all the time" is not reassuring.

Nor is "we have no idea why this happens."

Lie to me. Tell me that it has to do with the orbits of the moons of Jupiter if you must, but please pretend that you understand why my computer is behaving in a strange way for the umpteenth time.

Oh, and P.S. do not take it as a compliment that everyone on my floor has your extension on speed dial.


Foxy said...

LOL isn't that the truth *hugs*

Joe said...

Translating for/to my people...

"This happens all the time" is very difficult to say right. What IT should say is along the lines of "oh, that's a frustrating one, isn't it. Got me the first time too."

(Sidebar: the "oh crap" variation is to be used very judiciously. The "it's really quite simple" snide overtone is a sign you needed a coffee break 2 callers ago.)

"We have no idea why this happens" is an expression of empathy. It means "you're neither crazy nor stupid, this is really weird." Ideally, it's followed by "and our best people are working on it."

People without the chops to use these two lines correctly are expressly prohibited from telling lies. This is covered in section 39-2-8 of the secret code.